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I know that it would make me sad here, but I will do this. And I have to do this. I am going to talk about my ex boyfriend I guess. It is still weird feeling for me to put ex in front of boyfriend to call Mike.
Mike.. is the most awesome guy I have met! And he is the coolest!.
I still love him.. to tell you the truth. He is the only one person whom I really opened my heart.. (not literary). I don't know how to explain but he was nice to me until end of January, 2000. I really don't know what happened. I got so confused, and frustrated that I could not express myself very well to him. He was very important for me, and I wish I could have been an important person for him. It was the best wish I had. But I failed. I could not be one... the important one. That put me into deep depression, and i had no idea what I am doing. I could not see anything else than sadness. I thought and still think what Mike is thinking... if he still likes me, if he really loved me once, if he knows my pain. I don't get any of those answers, but I am still questioning myself. Where did our happiness and happy time go? I miss that, and I wish I could get back.. ... but now I lost them. I have nothing. Sometimes I get mad at reality, and struggle.. I don't know what I have done to be sad, but I wish I could be in the time I was happy with him. To tell you the truth, I am kinda mad at him too, but I know myself that I always wish him happiness and good luck. Because I still care about him...
Oh my goodness!! It is hard to write those things (what are those things anyway). I start crying and listening to Crystal Lewis, and I just prayed to God. ( Praying to God is the best thing to do, right? Mike) Here.. I just want to explore to my happy memory with him.
Mike and Kichi
Drive (On her first date, we drove to Maine)
Cars (Nissan is the best he says)
Computers (Dream for a new company)
Hanging out (With friends) (Only two of us)
Staying in (Best time)
Food (Our favorite food and restaurants)
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